It's okay, to not be okay.
When life comes at you with all sorts of situations and problems, it's easy to brush it off and say you’re okay when really, deep down, you’re not. You pretend, you put a smile on your face and act like there’s nothing wrong, just so other people can’t see what’s really going on. But here’s the thing, life happens. There's nothing you can do to stop it or change it.
You may get into an accident, get sick, lose your job, or find out you have cancer.
And no matter what you do, you can't change it, you can't fix it and you can't always be okay. But what you can do is seek support from those around you. If you’re not sure who your support system is, reach out to a friend, a parent, a teacher or someone you can trust to help or connect you to resources.
Three to four years ago, I went through a period of time where I reached my breaking point and I went into a deep depression because of it. My dad had a massive heart attack when I was 17 and I shut down. I kept pushing it off, saying I was okay and not dealing with it, until it all boiled over and I wasn't okay anymore. That was the final push that sent me over. I distanced myself from my family, I couldn't think anymore, I wanted to sleep all the time and I didn't know what to do to get out of it. I wish now that I would have done things differently, that instead of hiding it all away, I would have talked about it.
What I'm trying to say is you don't have to paste on a smile to show you’re fine, you don't have to act like your life is together when it's not. It’s okay to be vulnerable and show that you’re human.
For me personally, I turn to my faith and that’s what has gotten me through some tough times. This was a huge part of recovering from my depression, I leaned on the foundation of my Christianity to get me through. I didn't know how to change the way I was feeling or how to stop what I was going through, but I did know that if I leaned on what was comforting and a stable part of my identity, I would eventually come through on the other side.
My support system also helped me recover, my family was always there for me and encouraged me to stay on the right path, even though I didn't know what that path was in the moment. My mom was my solid foundation and best friend through that whole journey, she never left my side and would always talk into the wee hours of the morning with me.
But, I understand that everyone has different things they may turn to and different beliefs, and that’s okay! My point is, find whatever may help you, find the support system that will see you through your difficult times.
If you are an ASU student, we have a wonderful group of individuals who will support you through your good and difficult times without passing judgement and can connect you to helpful resources when needed. Devils 4 Devils is a wonderful group to be a part of, I have never met a group more willing to support you than they are.
The goal is to help each other through those times and to teach others how they can move forward as well. Taking care of your mental health is the most important thing you can do. So be kind to yourself, seek out resources and lean on your support system. That is how you can become okay when you’re not okay.
Shania Wiseman
Sophomore, Integrative Health
The Edson College of Nursing and Health Innovation