Just Say Hello!

Before stepping on to ASU’s campus for the first time, I didn’t have much of a frame of reference for what college would be like. I’m an only child with no close older friends, and my parents rarely talked about college since it had been so long since they attended. So for me, college had long been an abstract concept. The only real picture of college I had was the image of Sunnydale Community College from season four of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. There, Buffy made friends quickly, she got invited to go to parties in her first month, and had no trouble talking to her professors and teaching assistants. She made the college experience look like it didn’t take any more effort than showing up to class.

Tragically, most of us don’t have the looks and charisma of Sarah Michelle Gellar and, equally tragic, our quirky but loyal best friends for life don’t just appear in front of us when we need them. Despite that, the piece of advice we often get about meeting new people seems to live in the world of 90’s vampire dramas. I’m sure you’ve heard it before, the tried-and-true, titular phrase: just say hello!

I don’t know about you, but I have never once been comfortable ’just saying hello’ to someone I’ve never met before, and whether it was that, or my lack of vampire slaying ability that made it difficult for me to reach out to other people at ASU, I couldn’t say. The one thing I was sure of was this: I was struggling. A lot.

This isn’t because I’m shy or anxious. I’m generally a confident person, and I have no real issue talking to people about any topic they might throw at me. Yet I still couldn’t bring myself to start conversations, and therefore start friendships, with other students when I first got to college.

So for those of you out there who might be like me, I’ve put together a list of strategies that I think might you help out.

Use class as an excuse.
This may sound a bit silly, but this is one of the easiest ways to make fast friends. Offering to start a group chat, a class discord, or a study group with your classmates will almost guarantee you interaction with other students. Every friendship has to start somewhere, and bonding over a hard homework assignment, shared study time, or a really fun project is an easy way to get your foot in the door.
Talk to your roommates
Regardless of whether you like your roommates or not, it is important to reach out and communicate with them on a regular basis if only because you’re sharing the same space as them. That said, proposing something like a movie night or a video game tournament between you and the other people on your floor can really boost your relationship with the people living around you.
Look into extracurriculars.
Whether you love sports, role playing, reading, or crafting, there is a club on ASU’s campus for you. In my own experience, I’ve found that larger clubs are as easy to get lost in as a large class or large school, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t join. I would simply steer most towards smaller, more niche clubs that represent your interests, as the smaller the club is, the easier it is to become friends with the other members.
Be ready to help.
There is so much happening at ASU all the time and so many people that it is happening to. Any one of them could be in need of help, even if it’s a small favor. Offering to carry books for someone struggling to hold them, or helping a classmate asking a question that you know the answer to will show that you are the kind of person they can approach. That alone is enough to make you appear like a potential friend instead of just a classmate.

These may all seem like straightforward ideas, but the trick is to stay consistent and not get overwhelmed by the confusion of a new school year. Be a caring, considerate friend to all your fellow students and it’s only a matter of time before someone picks up on your own kindness and returns it in full.

Claire van Doren, Junior, Journalism and English literature, College of Integrative Sciences and Arts and the Walter Cronkite School of Journalism