On March 19, 2022, I spent my morning setting up the Out Of Darkness Campus Walk as my first event for my new job with ASU Counseling Services. I expected to meet some new people and hand out water to the individuals walking to raise money and awareness for suicide prevention. What I didn’t expect was to see such a powerful movement bringing a community of such diverse individuals together with one commonality- a relation to suicide that fostered a want to work together to increase awareness and prevention.
After a long hour in the hot sun setting up the tables and chairs for the event, I was assigned to work the bead station. Having no idea what that entailed, I quickly befriended another volunteer to see if they had any clue. It was then that I discovered that I would be handing out simple beaded necklaces to the participants. Easy. Though my initial thought was that this would be a great time to acquaint myself with so many unfamiliar faces and bring out the extraverted side of me that is oftentimes hidden, I quickly realized that this assignment would have a larger impact on me than I couldn’t have imagined.
I looked around to see so many different tables all advocating for mental health and seeking support in one way or another. There were Devils 4 Devils, ASU Counseling Services, Off-campus housing, ASU’s Sexual and Relationship Violence Prevention Program, If You’re Reading This, the Accessibility Coalition, and many other organizations - all sharing the common purpose of improving student’s well-being and mental health supports. These people were also going out of their way to identify help and be a support for any participants whose lives had been touched by suicide. That’s where my job came in.
Of the 9 different colors of beads, each one represented a different relation to suicide. Purple was the loss of a friend to suicide, teal was supporting an individual who is struggling, and Blue was the support of suicide prevention. These were the colors I wore.
In handing them out, I identified people who had vastly different experiences than I did. Some wore red, representing the loss of a spouse, while others wore white to show the loss of a child. Silver was the loss of a first responder, while gold was the loss of a parent and orange represented the loss of a sibling. A highly represented color among these participants was green - a personal struggle or attempt.
I could not believe my eyes with how many people were vulnerable enough to show, to so many strangers, their deepest secrets, that not everybody in their own life knew. Holding up these simple necklaces at the bead ceremony did so much more than just explain their reason for walking today - it showed the participants that they were not alone. With the necklaces that cost less than a dollar, a new community was formed. New relationships and support systems were recognized. A core memory was created.
I did not expect to leave that field with as much of a changed perspective as I now have. I did not expect to feel so connected with people that I had never spoken with before. I was not prepared to feel an overwhelming sense of relief knowing that it wasn’t only me, knowing that I wasn’t alone. Every time I look at those beads hanging on my wall, I get taken back to this moment. To the moment where I became able to understand that it wasn’t just me, and even if I didn’t know them, I was connected to so many others who were willing to be vulnerable and share their struggles, just to support strangers they met 30 minutes ago, and that means everything.
If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, help is available. Reach out to ASU Counseling Services and/ or Contact EMPACT (480-921-1006)
Dani Meyers
Freshman
Bachelor of Social Work